We stumbled into our chat with the Norse power couple finding Loki mid-punishment, lying on a cave floor, bound by the entrails of his executed children. Sigyn held a bowl above him, saving his face from the venom of the snake dangling overhead.
Lesser gods might’ve canceled, but these two? They’re professionals.
RR.COM: Good morning, Loki and Sigyn. Firstly, we would like to thank you for taking the time to meet with us.
LOKI: Trust me, we have all the time in the world, mortal.
RR.COM: I think our readers are curious about what you’ve been up to recently, but given your current situation—
LOKI: Oh, you can tell that things are going just marvelously for us. This is precisely how I was planning to spend my twilight years. I’ve even grown quite fond of that friendly snake hanging above my head. I call her Beatrice.
And who doesn’t love a nice splash of venom in the face?
RR.COM: Sigyn, do you have anything to add? You must be pretty upset about your husband’s eternal punishment for tricking Hod into killing Balder, Frigg’s beloved son. The gods eviscerated your children, and you’re stuck here, holding that bowl. Doesn’t your arm ever get tired?
SIGYN: . . .
LOKI: Seems like you took the words right out of her mouth. But don’t worry, she isn’t stuck there. Every few hours she has to turn to dump out the bowl. Her arm gets a rest while she sloshes it out right next to my head. And who doesn’t love a nice splash of venom in the face?
Seriously though, why she can’t figure out a better system, I don’t know—ack! Ptui! Hurry, woman, put the bowl back!
RR.COM: Loki, you mentioned this being part of your “twilight years.” Is that a reference to Ragnarok, the prophesized death of the Norse gods?
LOKI: Absolutely not. Lest you forget, I’m no longer considered a Norse god. Thank you very much, Odin. I’ll be fighting on the other side.
RR.COM: That may be true, but if I remember correctly, Ragnarok states that you will meet your end at the hands of Heimdall.
SIGYN: (slightly smiling) . . .
LOKI: Oh, please. Have you met that guy? I would like to see him try. I’m not worried. He’ll be too busy taking selfies during the final battle.
RR.COM: Still, it’s clear that you’re persona non grata around Hotel Valhalla. Did you not think of the consequences of allying yourself with the jotun against the gods?
LOKI: As much as I’ve enjoyed my time with the Aesir, the goodness in my heart drove me to pledge loyalty to my true family, the giants. I also appreciate the fact that their capital punishments are far less cruel and unusual than the gods’.
SIGYN: . . .
LOKI: You know what they say: blood is thicker than water. And speaking of, I really, really need to use the restroom. And yet Frigg demands that someone remain in this position at all times. You wouldn’t mind filling in for me for a few minutes, would you? I promise I’ll be back in a jiff.
SIGYN: (shaking head furiously) . . .
RR.COM: I suppose . . . You sure you’ll be right back? I have a lot more questions for you. . . .
LOKI: I’m sure you do. See you soon!
SIGYN: (with a sigh) . . .