Some goddesses are so cosmically powerful, you can’t even look them in the eyes. They command you to worship them and will not hesitate to strike you down if you disobey.
Other goddesses just want a large following on social media. Asaase Yaa (as-SAH-ah-say yah) is most definitely the second kind.
Who is Asaase Yaa, you ask? She’s the first leaf that sprouts after winter. She’s in the bend of every river, and the stone of every mountain. She’s not just the goddess of the earth—she is the earth.
Everywhere All at Once
Despite being the physical embodiment of the earth, Asaase Yaa is notoriously hard to get a hold of. Not even professional Slayers can always count on her presence at the Compound, the ancestral headquarters of the Abomofuo (and where other gods and goddesses typically hang out).
If you really want to get in touch with Asaase Yaa, you need to summon her yourself. All you need to do is:
1. Buy an Asaase Yaa figurine from your local market
2. Offer some food to her as tribute
3. Carefully draw her Adinkra symbol on the ground
4. Sing her unique prayer song
5. Wait a few hours
6. Keep waiting
7. Wait some more
(What can we say? She’s a busy lady.)
Just Eco-Influencer Things
Unfortunately, even after Asaase Yaa does appear, it can be a challenge to get her to look up from her phone and pay attention. In fact, she was probably late because she was developing amazing content for her online followers. Even goddesses need to upload new content every day to stay on top of those algorithms, you know.
Some people are confused as to why the goddess of the earth abandoned her tree-hugging hippie persona in favor of a social media-obsessed “eco-influencer.” It’s simple: the earth is always changing, and the earth goddess has to change with it. So, if you truly love the planet, you’ll drop what you’re doing and watch her live stream right this instant.
Keep It in the Family
It takes more than one divine entity to create the earth. Asaase Yaa’s husband, Nyame (aka the most powerful god in the Akan pantheon), may have shaped this world from nothing, but it was Asaase Yaa who nurtured it into a beautiful realm and gifted humans with the chance to live and thrive among nature’s bounty.
And just between us, she’s not super happy with the way we’ve been treating the planet recently. Between the greenhouse gasses, oil spills, and thousands of species she’s watched go extinct, can you really blame Asaase Yaa for diving headfirst into social media and ignoring the human race IRL?
But if you’re somehow able to appeal to Asaase Yaa’s better instincts, you’ll find that, on occasion, an all-powerful goddess can be swayed into caring for the tiny, insignificant humans who worship them. Who knows? Maybe she can even help you and your friends with that little vampire infestation you have on your hands. As long as you do her a favor first, of course.
And that’s in addition to liking, commenting on, and sharing all her posts. But that goes without saying.
Ready to see more of Asaase Yaa? Be sure to pick up Serwa Boateng’s Guide to Vampire Hunting, on sale September 6th!