Depending on where you go to school, that glorious time of year known as Spring Break is right on the horizon. Or maybe it’s already passed. Or maybe it’s a month away.
Luckily for us, many gods and demigods treat every week as Spring Break. So, who better to ask for some sure-fire tips on how to make the most of your time off? We usually only hear from these folks during the summer, but you can rest assured that they lead rich and fulfilling lives outside of questing and camping!
Take Praetor of the Twelfth Legion Fulminata Frank Zhang, for example: What does this legendary and heroic demigod have planned for his Spring Break?
“I’m going to re-re-organize my Mythomagic deck. I haven’t decided whether I want to categorize the cards by function or by aesthetics. Ooh! Maybe by initial release date. Then again, if I organize them alphabetically, I’ll never lose track . . . Wait a second. . . when was the last time I lost track of any? Either way, this is going to take a lot of serious introspection . . .”
Okaayyyy, maybe we should check with some other gods and demigods instead.
“My week is fully booked! I have daily rehearsals with this new punk rock band I’m fronting with other girls from school. I’m still not sure I completely understand the genre, but it turns out that I’m really good at it. All those years I spent alone on the island left me with what my bandmates call ‘an anti-authoritarian edge.’ News to me! But I’ll take it!”
“I’m all caught up on my reading and assignments, so I’m just going to chill at home with Mom, Paul, and Estelle. Honestly, college is kind of a breeze. Who would have thought that getting into college would be harder than staying in? I guess blue food is brain food after all!”
“I don’t know what’s up with me, but I can’t quite seem to hit as many bull’s-eyes as I used to. So, I’m going to try this thing called transcendental meditation and see if it can help me with my focus or whatever. Right after I watch this video Austin just sent me . . . And this one . . . And this one . . . And this one . . . You know, I think I’m starting to see what the problem is.”
“Help! Help! Somehow, Julia tied me to the top of her family’s sedan, and she insists on taking me to a water park! I don’t know how this happened. This shouldn’t be possible. I must return to New Rome at once! How am I expected to protect the borders of New Rome while floating down something called the Lazy River? Help me, please!”
“It is bold of you to assume that we commemorate ‘Spring Break’ in the Duat. Yes, I do have a fair bit of familiarity with the concept, due to my time sharing a body with Sadie Kane. If I recall correctly, that was the week in which she ate a pint of ice cream every night and got caught rollerblading through an abandoned hospital. Hmm . . . I wonder if there’s a spell I can use to conjure up a pint of . . . what was it called? Chubby Monkey? Be a dear and ask Sadie the name of that chocolate banana flavor and report back to me. But don’t you dare tell her who’s asking.”
“As usual, I’m going to be helping Chiron make sure that everything is (in his words) ‘in tip-top shape’ before the campers arrive. Even though summer is months away and everything has been ‘tip-top’ since the start of September. Not that I mind the peace and quiet. Even just a few months of those smelly, sweaty demigods running around the campgrounds are enough to last me a lifetime.
“None of them mentioned stopping by for a visit, did they? Don’t get me wrong—I’m just curious. I mean, I’m sure Chiron would appreciate the extra help. Makes no difference to me . . . No? Okay, well . . . Just let me know, okay? For Chiron’s sake, of course.”
“This Spring Break, I’m going to devote my time to uncovering the biggest mystery of my life: How in the Underworld is Percy Jackson getting better grades than me? I was the one who taught him how to write a research paper properly. I better figure it out before he starts calling me Seaweed Brain. If the answer really is blue food dye, I’m going to seriously consider dropping out of school entirely.”
Seems like when the gods and demigods to decide to take it easy, they take it really easy. We just hope they can enjoy their time off before some titan or giant inevitably decides to ruin everything.
Which god or demigod would you like to join on Spring Break? Be sure to let us know!