Ever since her fateful first appearance in The Cursed Carnival, Rabisu has been enjoying her new life in the mortal world. Or at least, she’s been enjoying parts of the mortal world. Sure, there are more rules to follow here than in the Netherworld, more “societal norms” to adhere to, and it’s a little hard for a demon to walk the street without attracting unwanted attention, but there are some advantages.
For instance, there’s no denying that there’s a nice variety of food up here. Especially if you’re staying in the Aziz household. Nothing satisfies a demonic appetite like the falafel sandwich at Mo’s Deli.
Ever since Rabisu joined up with Sik on his vacation in London, we’ve been curious to learn her thoughts about the British food scene. After all, who would be a better guide to the culinary delights of jolly old England than a demon who will eat almost anything you put in front of her?
Pigeon Pie
“I’m just as surprised as you are to learn that this is an actual British dish! Finally, a country that appreciates the taste of these yummy rat birds as much as I do! Usually I prefer my pigeons raw, but the flaky crust was a nice touch, I guess. Either way, I won’t rest until Sik’s parents add it to their menu. 8/10.
“By the way, I’ve also been pushing them to serve haggis. Sheep guts stuffed with liver and lungs—what could top that? It’s the closest thing I can find to the gourmet food we eat in the Netherworld. 10/10.”
Pet Poodles
“Technically, I’m not allowed to eat these, but they look so very delicious. Argh! Ever since coming to the mortal world, I’ve had to live by Sik’s stupid rules, so I’m not allowed to eat pets. If an animal has a name, it’s off the menu. By Ea, these guidelines don’t make any sense!
“Chickens, I can eat. People, I can’t. Cows, yes. Horses, no. Ducks, good. Swans, bad. Ravens, to be determined.
“Argh! It’s so frustrating to keep track of this stuff. Anyway, since I can’t eat these things, I can’t give my honest opinion. But if they taste anything like the pets I used to eat in the Netherworld, then I’d have to give them a 10/10.”
Hot Lentils
“Blecch! I had the misfortune of trying these gross things at Dumuzi’s commune. Not surprising that the god of flowers and his weird hippie friends can’t cook up a decent meal.
“Sik and The Handsome One seemed to like them, but I crave fresh meat, and there was none to be found anywhere in that giant house! What’s the point of keeping those tasty-looking chickens and rams in the front yard if you’re not going to eventually chomp into them? So unfair!
“Still, I ate the lentils. I guess they weren’t the worst thing I’ve had on the trip. Those fresh strawberries were a bridge too far. 1/10.”
Fresh Buns and Doughnuts
“Sik has been obsessed with pastries since we got here. It’s one of the many reasons I’m convinced he’s lost his mind. He’s been telling me that anyone who talks bad about British food needs to try their ‘freshly baked goods.’ Dummy. Don’t mortals know that you’re not supposed to eat bread right out of the oven? It needs to sit around for a few weeks or months. The older bread gets, the more flavorful—and colorful—it becomes.
“Besides, the British are so stuck up for not spelling them donuts like we do in the Netherworld. Whatever. I’m not even going to touch them anyway, so I’ll just give them a 2/10 out of the kindness of my heart.”
Compost Bucket Surprise
“Far and away the best thing I’ve had so far in England. And no, not just because Sik gave it to me after I was maybe angry with him.
“This bucket was filled to the brim with eggshells, banana peels, moldy bread, a mango stone . . . by Ea, the flavor combination was sublime! One million/10!
“I guess Sik is kind of a good friend. Sometimes. Even if he does want to spend more time with that annoying girl who hates demons for no reason.
“I just don’t understand why he didn’t want to have some of it, too.”
Want to see more of Rabisu’s foodie adventure across the U.K.? Be sure to pre-order your copy of Fury of the Dragon Goddess today!