Here on Long Island, we’ve reached that part of summer when no one really wants to do anything. The days are long, the sun is hot, the campers have turned feral, and for the counselors, the back-to-school season can’t come fast enough. To give you a taste of what daily life is like at CHB, here are some snippets of conversation we’ve overheard recently:
“Guys, I’m serious. Entering Tartarus is not a good idea for a social media challenge. Please stop asking me how to get in. I’m not going to tell you! And for whoever has been saying, ‘If Nico and Will can survive it, so can you,’ I have a message: You can’t hide from me. I will find you.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do after I find you. At the very least I’ll tell you that you’re being irresponsible.”
“Wow! I’ve never seen a crop of demigods adjust so easily to their new life before. Back in the day, kids used to scream and cry after getting attacked by monsters and learning about the existence of the gods. These days, they just shrug and say, ‘Eh, not the weirdest thing I’ve experienced lately.’
“I don’t really know what’s going on with the kids in the mortal world because I don’t pay attention to current affairs. But hey, I’m not complaining!”
“Another year at Camp Half-Blood, another reminder that this place has no appreciation for the arts. Our cover of the classic Miles Davis song ‘Shhh / Peaceful’ would have come in first place at any other camp talent show in the country. That is, if Mr. D hadn’t cut us off at the nine-minute mark. Doesn’t he realize that the song really picks up at 14:10?
“But the real insult is that Ellis from Ares Cabin won. Flexing your muscles isn’t a talent!”
“Julia and I are so ready for the #tartaruschallenge. I mean, yeah, we’re a little nervous. But we’ve packed enough toilet paper and Silly String that I think we’re covered. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“I’d love to stick around and tell you how great it was to finally have a year without any significant monster attacks or invasions, but I have to run. A few kids from my cabin accidentally wandered into Myrmeke Hill and we have to go rescue them from those awful giant ants.
“And wouldn’t you know it, a couple of troublemakers from Hermes Cabin thought it would be so funny to free the pegasi from their stables. On top of that, the kids from Hephaestus Cabin built an espresso machine with an AI component. Apparently, it escaped the Forge and is now on a rampage. I’ll see if I can get Sherman to take care of that. He hates coffee and loves smashing robots.
“So, yeah, a pretty chill summer, all things considered.”
Bob the Titan
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be back. Buuuut . . . is finding a decent place to live up here always this hard? Say what you will about Tartarus, at least I didn’t have to worry about providing a credit check and security deposit. Whatever those things are.”
“Flexing your muscles is totally a talent! Anyone who says otherwise is obviously just jealous.”
“Sleeping bag, eye mask, extra pillows, white noise machine . . . Yup, I think I’m all ready for the #tartaruschallenge. Maybe I’ll see my dad down there. Now I just need to find someone to go with me *yawn*. . . After a quick nap.”
“The number of demigods who have deliberately ignored my prophecies in order to catch a double feature at the movies is frankly getting ridiculous. And no, just because I can see the future doesn’t mean I know the best time to get up and go to the bathroom.”
Do you have any exciting plans before the summer inevitably melts away? Be sure to let us know!