Congratulations to Seaweed Brain for surviving another trip around the sun! For demigods, that’s no small feat, so we’re sure he’s taking part in a big celebration with family and friends. No doubt Annabeth, Grover, Sally, Paul, Tyson, Blackjack, and little Estelle are by his side to share in the festivities and the giant blue cake this year. And who knows? Maybe Poseidon will make an appearance for a minute or two.
But there are plenty of other important people in Percy’s life who couldn’t attend this year’s party (or perhaps weren’t invited) and wanted to send their most heartfelt messages to the young Savior of Olympus. So, without further ado . . .
Hebe, Goddess of Youth:
“Ew, Percy! Why are you so old? Hasn’t anyone told you that adding an extra number to your age every year is super cringe? I’m glad you decided not to have your birthday party at Hebe Jeebies this year. Those gross bags under your eyes would have scared away my most loyal patrons.”
Mr. D, God of Revelry and Director of Camp Half-Blood:
“Happy birthday, Peter. If anyone deserves to continue living for another year at least, I’m sure it’s you. By the way, I think you left behind a sock in the Poseidon Cabin. If you don’t claim it within the next few hours, I’m going to have to throw it to the Myrmekes. Sorry. Camp policy.”
Zeus, King of the Gods:
“You have certainly come a long way, Percy Jackson. From a fledgling forbidden demigod to an architect of real change for the gods of Olympus. I will admit that when I first learned of your existence, I was quite upset. And with good reason. You may not recall this, but I even tried to destroy you for a brief period. Of course that’s ancient history now . . . if nothing else, a funny anecdote you can share with your little friends.”
Leo Valdez, Demigod Son of Hephaestus:
“Hey, Aquaman! Did you receive the birthday present I sent in the mail? Please tell me you received the birthday present I sent in the mail.
“I’m worried that it accidentally went to the wrong address, and well . . . I really don’t think a semi-sentient Celestial bronze hamster should be set loose in a random stranger’s house. Especially not one that can fly and shoot fireballs and is set to explode if you replace its batteries after midnight.
“So, yeah. No rush, but please get back to me . . . like, ASAP. I really can’t afford another fine for property damage.”
Procrustes, Son of Poseidon (Regrettably):
“A tad disappointed I didn’t receive an invitation to my half-brother’s birthday party this year. And this after I gave you a friends-and-family discount at the Water Bed Palace! Ah well. I’m sure I’ll catch you—er, catch up with you before your next birthday. I hear this is the year you’re due to have a major growth spurt, and I definitely wouldn’t want to miss that.”
Ares, God of War:
“Another year and still no response to my request for a rematch? I thought mortals were supposed to become less cowardly with age!”
Calypso, Daughter of the Titan Atlas:
“Percy! Happy birthday! I hope you’re not spending it staring out at the ocean, holding back tears, and building a therapist out of coconuts and seaweed like I spent most of mine.
“I know things didn’t work out between us, but I will always cherish the short time we spent together on Ogygia. And now that I’ve finally moved off the island and I live in your neck of the globe, we don’t have a good excuse for not seeing each other more. But who knows what the future will bring? Always remember: life doesn’t get fun until you hit the age 3,000!”
Magnus Chase, Einherji Soldier in Odin’s Eternal Army:
“What’s up, Percy? Hope you have a chill birthday. Give my best to Annabeth. I still owe you for last year’s swimming lessons, so, you know, if you ever find yourself in Valhalla, hit me up and I’ll show you a good time in the Nine Realms.
“Wait, no! Don’t take that to mean I hope you die so we can hang out! But, you know, if you do meet an untimely end, you have a friend waiting for you on the other side . . . again, not hoping that you do!”
Rhea, Titan Mother of the Gods:
“I heard through the grapevine that an estranged grandson of mine is celebrating his birthday today. Oh, it makes me so happy to see members of my extended family tree continue to grow. Perhaps we could meet for tea next time I venture to New York to visit Zeus. We can finally get to know each other; you can share with me your dreams for the future . . . perhaps we could even discuss what exactly happened to my husband.
“Also, did you get the $20 check I sent?”
What birthday message would you like to give Percy? Be sure to let us know!