Cleaving through the heart of the Nightmare Realm is a long and treacherous river of the dead: the Vaitarani. Also known as the Blood River, it is filled with corpses and halahala, the primordial poison. Its banks are made of bones. A red fog often sweeps through, concealing the ferry carrying the dead. They’re supposed to sit patiently until the vessel—steered by the cloaked Ferryman—comes to a complete stop at the northern falls where these souls should disembark, cross the rainbow bridge, and face their afterlife. Unfortunately, many fear their final judgement and attempt escape. Except there is no escape. There is judgement or the river, and if the dead choose the river, then they are destined for a slow and painful decay.

Not everything is grotesque and creepy here. The ferry itself is quite spectacular, lit by a hundred lanterns and kept remarkably clean by the Ferryman’s son, Rohan (and sometimes, Rohan’s best friend, Hiran, if Hiran actually shows up to work.) If you ask the guys, the ferry is a fine place to live. Rohan would even say it’s fun! Well, if you don’t mind the corpses. Since Rohan will one day inherit the duty of ferrying the deceased, you may one day find yourself facing him. Best to be prepared. To help you have the most seamless transition into the afterlife, here are Rohan’s pro tips for what not to do when you’re dead.

Rohan:

1. For the love of all that is undead, please don’t stow away on the ferry. Listen, you get on, and then get off. Simple. Don’t hide from your fate. You will literally go mad, and I’m so tired of these jump scares.

2. Own your deeds. All that murdering and plundering and the unspeakable horrors you committed? Yeah, that’s what’s in store for you, buddy. If you didn’t want to face it, then you shouldn’t have done it. Don’t come crying to me.

3. If you decide to try to run and jump into the river, that’s on you. I can still hear you, though. The corpses trapped in the Blood River chatter all the time. It’s like they have nothing better to do, and it drives me up the wall. Unless it’s gossip or news, please be quiet. I have an itch that I can’t reach because my arms fell off. Someone ate my big toe. The other corpses are mean to me. Ugh. The ferry used to be a peaceful place.

4. Please stop looking into my window. I have a nice sublevel view of the Blood River—it gives my room a romantic red glow that a certain dakini likes. It’s not meant for corpses to float by and wave at me. Hello? Ever heard of privacy?

5. You can’t ever leave the Blood River. You knew that when you forfeited your fate and jumped in. I know you’re angry…even though it’s your own fault, but whatever… just don’t try to drag others in. Unless, of course, they’re the Shadow King’s army. In that case…snatch them all.

See more of Rohan in Rick Riordan Presents: A Touch of Blood by Sajni Patel, on sale 2/25!