Have you noticed any strange behavior from your beloved furry friend lately? A change in appetite, perhaps? A different sleep schedule?

A golden aura around their body that burns your retinas when you stare at them for too long?

In the past, we’ve discussed how to identify a god or goddess posing as a mortal being in our humble world of humans. But we neglected to mention the fact that deities also love to play dress-up—usually as animals.

And while certain divine entities choose to shapeshift into, say, a bull or a donkey as a harmless little prank on clueless humans, others choose to fully inhabit the role. And by that we mean that gods and goddesses have been known to, well, remain in the body of a household pet for years and years. (Particularly the pets with access to the softest beds and tastiest treats.)

That’s called hosting. And it’s a tactic often used by the Egyptian gods and goddesses when they need to hide out for a while. Or to get closer to a person of interest—usually someone with a divine destiny or hidden power.

Regardless, that wouldn’t necessarily make us feel better about having to clean up after a deity who should definitely be able to do it themselves by now.

They Don’t Seem to Age or Grow

Is your cat, dog, snake, gerbil, etc., seemingly stuck at the perfect age and size? Have they been exceptionally fit, agile, and nimble for as long as you’ve known them? Are they gaining some rather obsessive fans on social media?

Before you submit that application to the Westminster Dog Show, you should really double-check to make sure there’s nothing fishy going on with your pet’s so-called metabolism.

Obviously, the gods and goddesses can, for the most part, refuse the natural process of aging, e.g. growing physically weaker and losing some mental acuity over time, and remain perfectly preserved forever (though that can make dating mortals difficult in the long run).

But if you think divine vanity exists only when deities take on humanoid forms, you’d be sorely mistaken. If your pet is going to host a god or goddess, you better believe that they’ll shoot for the strongest and most beautiful form they can manage.

We feel the urge to remind everyone reading this that if gods or goddesses possessed the courage to age in real time, they would have lost all their hair and teeth centuries ago. But that’s none of our business . . .

They Act Superior to all Other Pets

What usually happens when your pet meets other animals? Or humans? Is your puppy automatically the undisputed lord and master of the dog park? Do other hamsters bow in reverence before your special little furball? Is your kitty literally catfishing those aforementioned social media fans?

Just like divine beings operate when they pose as humans, the gods and goddesses simply must do everything in their power to hog the spotlight. Maybe this is because the deities are so used to being worshipped and revered that they’re totally incapable of portraying themselves as an average, ordinary household pet.

Although, with a goddess like Bast, tummy rubs and ear scratches are acceptable forms of exaltation. Just, please, for your own sake, don’t try it when she’s in her godly form.

When Should You Consult an Expert?

If you truly believe that your pet is hosting a god or goddess, have no fear. The experienced magicians over at Brooklyn House can help sort out your issue free of charge.

Now, will your involvement with Brooklyn House result in you being recruited in some grand quest to save the planet from ancient forces of terror and destruction? We can guarantee a definite no.

But the last thing we want to do is waste the time of the fine magicians at Brooklyn House. So don’t buy that plane ticket unless you’re 100% sure that your pet frog is housing the essence of Heket or your parakeet is secretly Nekbhet, for example.

And let’s face it, you don’t want to look like a fool in front of the Kanes. Make sure your talking iguana isn’t simply your bog-standard sassy animal sidekick. Or that your pet hippo doesn’t just bear an uncanny resemblance to Tawaret when she puts on her wig and nursing cap. And honestly, not to be rude, but it’s kind of embarrassing that you got the two of them confused in the first place.

At the End of the Day, They Were Still Your Pet

It’s normal to feel a sense of betrayal once you learn that your sweet little furball isn’t who you thought they were. You may feel that the god or goddess who shared a body your pet took advantage of your kindness. That you fed, cared for, and nurtured someone who could, if they wanted to, obliterate you without giving much of a second thought.

You may even feel a powerful urge to exact revenge and adopt a bunch of snakes with the hope that one of them is hosting the soul of Apophis, the god of chaos. Fat chance, but good luck in your villain era.

We can guarantee that once the god or goddess reveals their true form and moves back to the Duat or the Sunny Acres retirement home, you will miss their company. Even if they were the snobbiest, most high maintenance, or intensely aggressive pet, you can’t deny that you felt some fondness for them. It’s in our nature to love animals. We can’t help it. Otherwise, no one would adopt those strange-looking hairless cats.

Similarly, it’s in our nature to respect and admire the ancient gods and goddesses. Or at least respect their power and their place in our shared histories and mythologies. So maybe instead of feeling betrayed, you should feel honored that a god or goddess chose you to look after them for a time and entrusted you to give them three meals a day and change their litter box when necessary. Like it or not, you two bonded over something meaningful.

And hey, if nothing else, you should at least be grateful that they didn’t choose your body to host. You never want to be the person to say, “I’m deeply sorry about my regrettable behavior at the office holiday party. I was possessed by the Egyptian god of baboons!” That kind of excuse only works once.

Have you noticed any divine behavior coming from your pet? Be sure to let us know!