Alas, the curtain is closing on another successful summer. Quests have been completed. Prophecies have been fulfilled. Evil spirits have been sealed away.

And we’ve learned, once again, that the “real” treasure was the friends we made along the way. But if we’re being honest, a couple of golden drachmas wouldn’t hurt about now. Inflation is no joke!

All that’s left for you to do is pack your bags, finish your back-to-school shopping, and finally get started on those summer reading assignments you’ve been putting off since June . . .

If you insist on being a nerd, that is! As long as the temperature is high and the beach is open, there’s still time to squeeze out as much summer as possible. Don’t let the dread of the encroaching fall prevent you from living your best life!

Here’s how to maximize the waning days of summer now that the best (and most challenging) parts of the season are behind us.

. . . You did seal away those evil spirits, right?

Head Out into the Wilderness

Summer camp may be over, but there’s no reason you can’t gather up some friends, sleeping bags, and snacks, and wander out into the woods yourselves. All the fun of camp without the supervision, social hierarchies, and nearly lethal physical activities.

Find a cozy spot by a creek, sit back, relax, and watch your friend who claims that “he has totally done this before” spend entirely too much time trying to get a bonfire going.

Now, as much as we want you to enjoy the freedom that only the natural world can provide, we must insist that you pack a can of bug spray. All too often, nights under the stars can be ruined by the incessant buzzing of flies and mosquitoes.

But the bugs you really need to worry about are the blood-sucking adze, as found in the Serwa Boateng series. Unfortunately, we have yet to find a spray that can effectively neutralize these shapeshifting vampires.

Your best bet is to hope and pray that someone in your friend group has been trained since birth to combat them. Stranger things have happened.

Of course, once your friend reveals themself to be a vampire slayer, you just know it’ll be the only thing they’ll talk about from then on. They’re totally going to want to include you in their hobby and insist on teaching you how to bash vampire fangs with your own enchanted baseball bat or something.

Say goodbye to your extracurriculars! This is your life now. And just when you were so close to finally being named drum major in the marching band . . .

Hit the Beach

This might be your last opportunity for a fun and sunny beach day for a long time. Yes, we know finding a good parking spot is nearly impossible. And the walk from the car to the sand is so long. And don’t ask us how to set up your sun umbrella. We’re just as baffled as you are.

But hey, the water is just fine. If you can handle the crowds, that is. Just don’t linger and stare at your fellow beachgoers for too long. It’s rude. Even if you believe you saw a glowing, translucent figure out of the corner of your eye.

Don’t freak out. We all know that the ghostly La Llorona only hangs out by rivers. And the spirit of Flordeliza de León never crosses the Midnight Bridge. There’s no reason to believe your local beach is haunted by restless specters taking advantage of the fact that they can’t get sunburned posthumously.

Still not convinced? Well, maybe you should just keep your sighting to yourself anyway. Closing the beach, even for one day, would cause untold damage to the town’s economy. So what if one or two people get kidnapped and whisked away to the Spirit World? We’re sure they’ll be fine in the long run. Don’t be selfish!

Fire Up the Grill for One Last BBQ

No summer is complete without at least one cookout. Or two. Or twenty. But for those folks who aren’t quite as fond of grilled meat as we are, these barbeques can often feel like a test of endurance that no amount of potato salad can ameliorate.

For your final cookout of the season, why not expand your menu a little bit? Don’t feel beholden to boring old hot dogs and hamburgers. Open it up to the whole community.

You know how much Susan from down the street loves her beet salad. And how little Tommy simply can’t get enough quinoa these days. And don’t forget about old man Marcus’s beef tongue. Make sure it’s fresh!

Oh, and how about that little grayish-green . . . person (?) with the horns and fangs? She absolutely devours pigeons. And rats. And dirty old pairs of boots. And discarded newspapers. And . . . are you sure she is one of your neighbors? Might be time to call the homeowner’s association . . .

Until then, we suggest accommodating her unique diet and keeping her well-fed. We’re pretty sure she hasn’t been staring at little Tommy with those hungry eyes because she’s craving a taste of that quinoa.

End the Summer with a Grand Fireworks Show

After all the fun in the sun with family and friends, there’s no better way to cap off the season than by finding a nice spot to sit and watch the purest form of summer entertainment: a fireworks display.

However, if you’ve ever been privileged enough to behold the extravagant fireworks show developed by the whiz kids of Hephaestus Cabin at Camp Half-Blood, you’re likely to be disappointed by any ordinary display. The fireworks at CHB are so advanced, they can recreate actual battles from Greek history. Kind of makes your town’s pop-and-fizz sparklers look dweeby by comparison.

The best you can hope for is a rogue automaton or furious dragon goddess appearing at your local park. Those sparklers may prove useful as the first line of defense in an epic battle for survival.

And this probably goes without saying, but if you’re under 18, please use adult supervision. Trust us, if you end up having to rock an eyepatch on the first day of school, you’ll want to be able to tell your friends that you earned it in a fearsome conflict with a rampaging behemoth . . . and not because you were too dense to read the safety instructions.

Don’t forget: summer memories last forever. Even the ones that make you cringe. Maybe especially the ones that make you cringe. So . . . perhaps it wouldn’t be the worst idea to embrace the end-of-summer scaries and bring your latest adventure to its natural conclusion. At least while most of your dignity and limbs are still intact. Summer reading can be fun!

What are your plans for ending the season with a bang? Be sure to let us know!