Sooo . . . what are your plans for this weekend?

Have you secured reservations at the fanciest restaurant in town? Did you purchase front row seats to the latest opera? Have you been practicing all year for a rousing game of miniature golf under the stars?

Boring!!! The gods are disappointed in your lack of imagination and romantic sincerity!

We don’t need an Oracle to tell us that an uninspired Valentine’s Day date this year could lead to your being all alone next year. But hey, don’t get discouraged. Sometimes we all need a little voice in our head to remind us to think outside the box.

Luckily, both Carter Kane and Zia Rashid have had plenty of experience with an extra voice inside their heads. Namely, the Egyptian gods Horus and Nephthys, respectively.

Whether Carter and Zia’s Valentine’s Day date ideas come from their own personal experience or from the ancient wisdom of divine beings, there’s no denying that this power couple knows how to make the most of an enchanted evening.

Add a little magic to your V-Day date this weekend with these suggestions from Carter and Zia.

Exploring the “Open-Air” Market at Heliopolis

Carter: “I’ll admit, the first time that Zia introduced Sadie and me to the underground city of Heliopolis, I was a little overwhelmed.”

Zia: “Understatement.”

Carter: “But the more time we’ve spent there, the more I have come to appreciate its history. The charm. The wonder. It’s an excellent choice for a Valentine’s Day date. Especially if you’ve been struggling to think of a gift. You can find boomerang wands, animated clay dolls, parrots, cobras, tons of different glittering amulets . . .”

Zia: “Just please make sure that at least one of you knows your way around the city first. It’s so easy to get lost. Or cursed. Or possessed. And if you do decide to purchase any of those tacky trinkets Carter mentioned, don’t bother trying to haggle. Accept your fate. You will pay the full price.”

An Educational Trip Through the Hall of Ages

Zia: “If you’d prefer a less crowded environment for your Valentine’s Day date, you may enjoy a tour through the Hall of Ages, also located within Heliopolis. That is, if you possess the proper mental fortitude.”

Carter: “It’s a little tricky to get inside the Hall of Ages, but trust us, it’s worth it. The place is as beautiful as it is illuminating. Filled with hyper-realistic scenes of Egyptian history that blur in and out of focus, it’s like the ultimate crash course on the ages of the gods.”

Zia: “Just be wary: if a mortal dwells on the images too long, they can lose their mind. These are the gods’ memories, after all. Only people with a high tolerance for magic can handle direct mental contact with these beings.”

Carter: “In other words, it’s the perfect way to humble a know-it-all partner who loves to mansplain every exhibit at the museum. Right, Zia?”

Zia: “Amazing. You read my mind.”

A Relaxing Boat Ride Down the River of Night

Carter: “Um, I think this is supposed to read ‘A Relaxing Boat Ride Down the Nile River.’”

Zia: “The Nile? How boring! The River of Night flows not only through the Nile, but all rivers in existence. And also, none of them. All at once.”

Carter: “I’m still not clear on how that works, but whatever. Did you mention that you have to enter the Duat to find the River of Night? Or that the river leads directly into the Land of the Demons and the Sea of Chaos? And don’t forget all those creepy, lost, and confused ghosts that stare at you from the sidelines . . . It’s not exactly the most romantic atmosphere.”

Zia: “Perhaps not. But do you know what I do find romantic? Being with a courageous and highly skilled magician who can face the dangers of the River of Night without flinching.”

Carter: “Well, maybe a short boat ride wouldn’t be completely outside of the realm of possibility this weekend . . . as long as we can find a non-psychopathic demon captain this time.”

Zia: “I’ll ask around.”

Picnicking in the Land of Demons

Carter: “I prefer the food court at the Mall of America myself, but . . .

Zia: “Well, I still consider the picnic our first date, Carter. Unless you forgot.”

Carter: “I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day. And not just because of all the near-death experiences.”

Zia: “Are you saying that our first kiss was more memorable than partaking in an ancient battle between the gods and an army of demons led by Apophis?

Carter: “Well, yeah . . . but if I’d actually said that, you’d probably think I was being incredibly corny.”

Zia: “True. But you must admit, the threat of total annihilation did add a bit of excitement. I enjoyed seeing how you carried yourself through some truly treacherous moments.”

Carter: “Don’t forget that I had some help.”

Zia: “Still, I’ve always found your fortitude and leadership skills very . . . appealing. As well as your big heart.”

Carter: “That means a lot coming from you. Here I thought you only liked me for my boyish good looks and impeccable sense of style.

Zia: “Hmm. Let’s call it a 60/40 split.”

Carter: “I’ll take it. So, should I pack the baguettes?

Zia: “I’ll see if I can secure a boat . . .”

Bonus Entry: Volunteering at Sunny Acres Assisted-Living Community

Sadie: “Carter, come on! Time’s a-wasting!”

Carter: “Sadie? What are you doing here?”

Sadie: “Clearly, I’m interrupting something. But I don’t care. You promised you would volunteer at Sunny Acres with me today!”

Carter: “Uh, what? I-I did?”

Sadie: “‘Uh uh, what? I-I d-did?’ Don’t play dumb! Now get a move on. You want to stay in the good graces of these old geezer gods, don’t you? Hurry up. Tawaret’s getting impatient.”

Carter: “But Zia and I—”

Sadie: “Slow your roll, lover boy. The only date you have tonight is with Onuris and a sponge bath.”

Zia: “I don’t mind, Carter. I understand that your responsibilities to the elder gods are of great importance. I’m sure I can find something else to do while you’re gone. Maybe Khufu the baboon would like to take me to a basketball game tonight.”

Carter: “Zia, wait! No, don’t go!”

Zia: “Have fun, Carter! See you when I see you!”

Carter: “Zia! No! No!”

Sadie: “Oof. Tough break, bro.”

Carter: “You know, Sadie, sometimes I wonder if you’re actually an agent of Set.”

Sadie: “Ha ha! I’ll never tell!”

Looking for even more magical and adventurous date ideas? Check out the Kane Chronicles trilogy from best-selling author Rick Riordan!