Welcome to the Underworld! We hope your journey to the final resting place of the dead was a safe and pleasant experience.

Before you reach your true final destination, please be aware that all new arrivals to the Underworld must pass through the legendary River Styx. No exceptions. Apologies to those afflicted with motion sickness.

But not to worry! Typically, the ferry ride down the Styx is a calm and soothing voyage. And the ride only costs a single drachma. (Or perhaps a little more if you’re a mortal seeking a round-trip. Wink, wink.)

Please pay attention to the following safety instructions before setting foot onto the ferry. And once you’re aboard, sit back, relax, and take in the many wondrous sights, sounds, and scents that the Styx has to offer.

Toss a Coin to Your Ferryman

We know that you mortals don’t always like to acknowledge the person who delivers you from one point to another, but trust us, you’re going to want to get to know the ferryman, the daimon Charon. You should treat this guy with respect, because not only will he will be the first friendly face you’ll meet down here in the Underworld, but he is also a child of the all-powerful Nyx. So, at the very least, tip him generously.

But have no fear, Charon will take you where you need to go. As the spirit of boundaries and territories, it is his responsibility—and distinct pleasure—to carry the souls of the deceased from the living world to the dead. And he looks good doing it!

So don’t be shy. Charon has plenty of interesting stories that will help pass the time as you travel down the Styx.

Just don’t expect him to respond if you beg and plead with him to turn the ferry around. Charon has heard it all before. And he does not get paid enough to listen to your sob stories. Besides, you should have accepted your ultimate fate long before you arrived in the Underworld.

Don’t Get Too Distracted by the Pretty Sights

Here’s a fun fact: the Styx is one of several rivers you’re likely to come across down here in the land of the dead. In addition to the primary river, Acheron—of which the Styx branches from—the Underworld is also home to the rivers Phlegethon, Cocytus, and Lethe.

What makes the Styx unique is its relationship to the human world. While we always recommend that new arrivals forget about their old life as quickly as they can, the River Styx is littered with lost hopes and dreams, symbolized by physical objects from a life that has reached its end. Anything from childhood toys to cherished family mementos to gifts from friends and lovers (ooh la la!).

Who can say why the Styx is polluted with so much of this useless junk memorabilia from the mortal realm? Perhaps the Titan goddess Styx, who designed this river, sought to torture fallen souls with reminders of everything they’d lost. Or maybe Hades slashed the maintenance budget.

All we know is that if you come across some long-forgotten object from your youth amid the detritus that so tastefully decorates the Styx, don’t lean in to reach for it!

Unless . . .

Keep Your Hands and Heels Inside the Boat at All Times

(If You Want)

If you remember one thing about the River Styx from your mythology course, it probably has to do with the legend of Achilles. When the Greek hero was an infant, his mother dipped him in the river to grant him great strength, speed, and near-invulnerability. His only weak spot was his heel, where his mother had held him. Allegedly, a couple of young demigods recently followed in Achilles’s footsteps and also received a major glow-up.

You’re more than welcome to take a dip yourself. We don’t recommend that you jump into the river, but there aren’t any strict rules against it. Be forewarned, however: at least one part of your body must remain highly vulnerable. And for gods’ sakes, please keep that bit of information to yourself.

Also, the ghost of Achilles may appear out of the ether to warn you that bathing in the River Styx is a bad idea. He’ll probably go off about how incredible strength and invulnerability are actually a curse (Yeah, sure, pal.), and how all that power will give you an arrogant heart that will ultimately lead to your downfall. Yada yada yada. Your typical buyer’s remorse. Honestly, we kind of just tune him out after a while.

Say a Little Swear for Me

One fun thing you can do while traveling the River Styx: make a sacred and all-binding oath between you and your friends! Need to settle a score, squash some beef, or plead for someone’s life? Swearing an oath on the River Styx is one of the most effective ways to hold someone to their word from now until the end of time.

These oaths are so powerful that even the gods swear upon the River Styx when they need to hold one another to account. Like that time after World War II when the Big Three all swore they would no longer sire any more demigod children (although we know how that little promise worked out in the end).

Though certain gods somehow got away with breaking their oath on the River Styx, the rest of us schmucks can expect a heaping helping of fresh misery and torment if we dare do the same. Even Apollo received a few nasty punishments for breaking his oath not to bust out the ukulele while in his mortal form as Lester Papadopoulos. (Well deserved even if he didn’t make an oath, if you ask us.)

So, only agree to an oath if you are 100% positive that you can keep your word until, well, the death of the universe. And maybe even longer than that.

Still, if swearing an oath on the River Styx is the only way to make sure that your bestie isn’t smushed to death by the Laistrygonians, or that your other bestie finally pays you back for those concert tickets, don’t hesitate to get the ball rolling while you still have the chance.

Because before you know it, your ride down the Styx will invariably come to an end, and you may not be able to return . . .

Watch Your Step When Exiting the Boat

Once you enter the Underworld, you have no say in where exactly your immortal soul will suffer rest for all eternity. Remember, Charon’s ferry isn’t your personal taxi service. If you’re unhappy with your assigned residence, take it up with the big guy, Hades himself. We’re sure he’ll respect your grievances.

And if you’re a mortal hero simply visiting for a day, you’d better have an exit plan sorted out before your arrival. Or a boatload of drachma to bribe Charon with for a jaunt back to the other side.

For the rest of you broke bums, if you’re really dissatisfied with your final fate, remember that the River Styx converges with the four previously mentioned rivers that circle the Underworld. If you’re desperate to defy your fate and willing to take the chance, perhaps you can make a break for it, hop in, and swim your way to salvation.

Just bear in mind that one of these rivers is filled with the howling wails of perished murderers. Another is a river of fire that leads directly to Tartarus. Another will try to drown you in a sense of hopelessness while it literally drowns you with ice-cold water. And the final river causes complete and total memory loss.

But which one is which? We’re going to let you figure that out for yourself. We’ve already given you way more guidance than Hades or Nyx would reasonably permit!

Go ahead, pick your poison and dive in. You’re a restless undead spirit, so you have nothing to lose anyway! Unless you somehow get lost and fall into the primordial entity known as Chaos. If that happens, you’ll simply dissolve into pure nothingness. Ouch! A horrible fate, but some might say it’s preferable to some of the other unspeakable areas of the Underworld . . . which we will of course speak of at a later time.

Stay tuned for more tours of the Underworld in the coming weeks!

Are you excited for your trip down the River Styx? Planning on diving in for a shot at invulnerability? Or are you going to make a sacred and unbreakable oath? Be sure to let us know!